Heartfelt Care in Every Moment

Simon Carver

Hey everyone, welcome back to Got to be a Nurse, Baby! I'm Simon Carver—here as always with Lachlan, and today we’re digging into the quiet power of presence in nursing care. I know we've touched on communication a bunch before, but today it's all about those moments you actually feel someone’s there with you. You know—that genuine focus when you’re really connected, even if it only lasts a minute? It’s wild how much that sticks with patients. Sometimes, it's not about charts or clever questions... Just, well, being truly present. I’ll never forget my early days on night shift—man, I was so distracted on my first 2 AM med round, thinking about tasks and not faces. But there was this patient, Mrs. Alvarez. She looked up, just... hopeful I'd stop and actually look her in the eye. I slowed down for a sec, made eye contact, asked, “How’s the pain tonight?” and suddenly—all that rushing vanished, turned into an actual moment. She smiled and just, relaxed. I learned right then: presence is this invisible blanket, isn't it?

Lachlan Reed

Ah, mate, 100 percent. And sometimes you can see the impact right away—even if you’re just passing through to drop off meds or check the IV. Eye contact, actually sitting down for a beat, your body language—it's like, you can’t fake that warmth. Even if you're in a hurry, a simple “I’m here for you” attitude can go way farther than we realise. Had a bloke the other week, tough farmer type, didn't wanna chat much. But I just sat on the edge of the bed, not pushing, letting him have space. Five minutes later he’d opened up about missing his dogs on the farm! You never know what a moment of real attention will uncover.

Simon Carver

Yeah, and I think—well, I’m sure I said this back when we were talking about teamwork in earlier episodes—sometimes presence feels risky. Like, pausing in a rushed ward, you almost feel guilty not multitasking, right? But man, the trust that grows from just being there? That’s the real work. All those little things—eye contact, that angle you hold your shoulders, not just doing your “robot nurse” routine—it says “I see you, not just your chart.”

Lachlan Reed

And patients will absolutely pick up on it if you’re not really there. You can’t fake listening, mate. They just know. And if you take those micro-moments to be present, even during the busiest shift, people remember how you made ‘em feel long after the meds are gone.

Lachlan Reed

So, let’s talk about touch—‘cause, honestly, that’s a skill that took me ages to feel confident with, especially here in Sydney where you’ve got people from all over. There’s more to it than just whacking a blood pressure cuff on someone. There’s task-oriented touch—like when you’re doing dressings or helping someone out of bed. Then there's caring touch, like a gentle pat on the hand when someone’s anxious, or protective touch—catching a patient about to fall. And this one’s easy to forget: noncontact touch, like simply being beside someone or giving them your undivided attention. Funny story: once, I had this older gent, nerves before surgery. Doc had run through all the clinical stuff but he was still tense, right? I just rested a hand on his shoulder while we talked—not in any big way, just there. You could see him physically letting go. No words needed sometimes.

Simon Carver

You’d be surprised how much a well-timed touch can say. I’ve had patients—especially folks dealing with big, scary diagnoses—who remember a squeeze of the hand or a reassuring pat way more than my best speeches. But, wow, sometimes touch can go wrong if you’re not tuned in. You gotta read the room—think about cultural backgrounds or personal boundaries. I’ve had patients tense up or move away, and that's my cue to go, “Okay, maybe that’s not comforting for them.” Honestly, touch is like a language—sometimes you get the accent wrong if you’re not paying attention.

Lachlan Reed

Absolutely—and just like with communication, you gotta treat it with respect. Some folks, maybe from certain backgrounds or after tough experiences, don’t want to be touched at all. So sometimes, comfort is in a safe distance—or just your tone. I always ask myself, “Is this touch for me, or is it really gonna help them?” When in doubt, I just, well, ask! “Mind if I hold your hand while we talk?” Simple as that, mate.

Simon Carver

And, you know, being conscious of your own reactions is huge too. There’s that urge to use touch to soothe yourself, so you feel less awkward, but sometimes the best care is not touching at all. That’s a lesson I learned the awkward way in my early days—thankfully most people are gracious about rookie stumbles!

Simon Carver

Alright, let’s talk about listening—real listening, not just the “uh-huh” while you glance at the monitor. It’s amazing how simply closing your mouth and opening your ears can open doors. So much of nursing rides on actually hearing what’s not obvious in the first place. You know, I remember reading a case—think it was an oncology nurse—she’d looked after a patient for months. One day, she picked up something tiny: a little change in the way he described his pain. Because she’d been listening closely every day, she caught a new symptom no one else noticed. That’s continuity. That’s trust. And it isn’t just about having years on the job—it’s about caring enough to be curious, again and again.

Lachlan Reed

Spot on. If you zip from one task to the next, you miss all the “little stuff”—but it’s the little stuff that matters. Teamwork plays into this big time. If you’re part of a team that shares info, talks about what people actually say (not just what the chart says), you get better at knowing your patients. I had a patient once—everyone described him as “difficult.” Honestly, all he wanted was to be listened to and included. Once we started doing that, his whole demeanor changed. It’s like, experience helps, but you actually gotta pay attention. Nothing’s worse than doing the “autopilot” thing.

Simon Carver

Yep, and the more continuity you get—seeing the same folks, building up trust—the more likely you’ll spot those subtle clues. But this doesn’t happen overnight. You have to keep showing up, listening, checking back in. That’s where teamwork comes in too: someone else might catch something you miss, and if you’re listening to both your patients and your colleagues, you build a fuller picture.

Lachlan Reed

Totally. And you don’t need decades in the job to start this—just curiosity, time, and respect. Plus, listening’s the quickest way to let a patient know you really care, no matter how short the chat is.

Lachlan Reed

So, spiritual care—that’s one that can get a bit... tricky, yeah? Especially when we all come from different walks of life, belief systems, and—well—sometimes you don’t even know where to start. At the heart, it’s about helping folks find balance between their values, their goals, and whatever they're going through health-wise. It doesn’t mean getting all preachy. It might mean just sitting in quiet, creating a peaceful atmosphere, or saying, “We can find someone for you to talk to if you want.”

Simon Carver

Oh, for sure. I gotta admit, the first time I asked a patient about spiritual needs I must’ve stumbled through that question about six different ways—“Uh, do you have any... beliefs or, um, is there someone you want to, like, pray with or something?” It sounded clumsy, but the patient just smiled and said, “I like to keep things simple—just a bit of quiet helps.” Sometimes you don’t need the best words—you need to give space for them to share, no judgment. I find open-ended questions work best: “What brings you comfort? Is there anything that helps you feel at peace?” And listen, like, really listen.

Lachlan Reed

Yeah, sometimes our job is just to offer resources or create a soothing environment—dim the lights, find their favorite music, or organise a visit from a chaplain if they want one. It’s about dignity, respect, and giving folks a bit of control. That sense of peace can go a long, long way, especially in tough times when there’s suffering you can’t just fix with medication.

Simon Carver

And part of relieving suffering is just being that steady, kind presence. You don’t always have answers, but you can always offer a safe, caring space. That, to me, is what helps people—to feel seen, heard, and valued, even when things are rough.

Simon Carver

Alright, let’s wrap with one of the wildest parts of nursing—caring not just for patients, but for their families. Man, this can be intense! Sometimes you’ve got family who want to help, others who need all sorts of education, or those who are already super involved. And honestly, families bring a whole other layer—sometimes comfort, sometimes chaos.

Lachlan Reed

Mate, you’re preaching to the choir. Best example? The time I tried explaining a discharge plan to a big, loud Aussie family—half of ‘em with opinions, two kids playing footy in the hallway. At first it was chaos. So I started with, “Let’s sit together, one step at a time. Who’s actually gonna be helping out when you get home?” Once I found the right person to chat with, everything calmed down. Turns out, families want to help, they just need to feel respected and part of the plan.

Simon Carver

And, look, it’s not all tea and hugs. We face big challenges: time crunches, standardised workflow, all the tech, the pressure to do things fast and cheap. Those institutional demands, man—they pull you away from those human moments. But if nursing’s gonna make a real, positive impact, we can’t lose the “human” bit. That means reaching out, educating families, involving them, and just... being kind even under pressure.

Lachlan Reed

Spot on. If we want healthcare to actually help people, we gotta bring it back to being holistic and human, not just ticking boxes. Sure, there’ll always be tough days, but those genuine moments with patients and families? Worth it every time.

Simon Carver

Alright, that’s it for today! Thanks for joining us—if you want more on the challenges and joys of nursing, or stories from the front lines, be sure to stick around for our next episodes. Lachlan, mate, always a pleasure.

Lachlan Reed

Always, Simon. Take care everyone, keep caring for yourselves and each other, and we’ll catch ya next time!